Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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