but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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