No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
