I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
