Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
