to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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