Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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