I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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