im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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