her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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