While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
