so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
