The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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