If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize