woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
