The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
