If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
