shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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