Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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