I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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