why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
