I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
