I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
