Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
