Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
