Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
