the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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