i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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