I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
