Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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