He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
