Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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