fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
