I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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