i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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