Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
