all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wear drunk well.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
