Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize