but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
