She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
