All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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