party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
should my penis look like a turkey
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
