so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
