very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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