we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Semen is not good for contacts.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
