I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
