You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
