Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is my gift to your gina
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
