He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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