I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize