I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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