Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
