Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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