yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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