I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
