I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
