...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
