I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
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It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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